My favorite podcast, Who?Weekly, has a reoccurring segment where they talk about someone’s US Weekly "25 Things You Didn’t Know About Me” list. I had not read an US Weekly in this millennia, but I burned through a pile while my daughter got her nails done yesterday. Turns out I wasn’t giving W?W hosts Lindsey & Bobby enough credit for how much work it must take to make their segments entertaining, because those lists were boring.
I’m pretty sure I can do a better list, and I’m not even marginally famous. Let’s go:
I learned to swim on this beach. (All right, all right: technically I learned to swim on the beach where that scene was filmed.)
In college, I pronounced “facade” as “fuh-KADE,” and I was laughed at by a classmate who eventually went on to write for The Simpsons.
When I can’t sleep1, I lie on an acupressure pad that I call the stabby mat and watch Bear Cam.
Chris Evans was my #1 Chris for almost a decade, but Chris Pine, with his droll fashion sense and lack of dating a 24-year-old, edged him out a couple of years ago.
I have a tattoo of this Edward Gorey ballerina on my hip:
My tattoo artist asked me if I wanted her to fix the ballerina’s wonky hand, but I love the wonky hand, so I declined.
My favorite place in Boston is named Ron’s Gourmet Ice Cream and 20th Century Bowling.
Right after I met my now-husband, I told him he had to read The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay, and not only did he actually do it, he also called me to read his favorite passages back to me.
I just asked, and he has zero memory of that happening.
He does remember sleeping in a hospital chair next to me when I was hospitalized with a blood clot in my lung.
I remember looking at him and thinking, “Welp, guess I’m marrying this one.”2
My most-read fanfic on AO3 has 11,817 hits, and I am not linking to it because it is extremely pornographic!
My favorite movie is 10 Things I Hate About You, and this is entirely too accurate:
A friend of a friend spent the covid lockdown inventing his own internet radio station and now it’s all I listen to: UncertainFM.
I impulse bought my husband this garlic chopper and he still mentions how much he loves it every time he uses it.3
Martha’s Vineyard Baby Name of the Week: There was only one baby born on Martha’s Vineyard last week. His name is Huey.
The first concert I went to was Smashing Pumpkins. They were terrible. The most recent concert I went to was Måneskin. They kicked ass, and also this happened:
One of my ankles hurts all the time, and the other one is always a little swollen. I’m a little bit worried that my feet are falling off.
The last thing that made me laugh out loud was this description of dolphins from Ursula Vernon:
After John Mulaney got divorced, I searched my soul and realized that there only two celebrity couples I would be genuinely devastated to hear were divorcing: Seth Meyers and his wife Alexi, and Sohla and Ham.
The last book I really loved was an utterly bonkers modern, NC-17 rated, gender-swapped retelling of Phantom of the Opera called Midnight Duet.
I’m starting to run out of ideas. Here’s my cat:
The fun fact I used all through grad school: I collect vintage globes. I have a dozen and the oldest is from 1939, right before Germany invaded Poland.
I never have any idea what day of the week it is.
I spent the pandemic getting my masters degree and changing careers. It worked out so well that I’m constantly suspicious that the bottom is going to drop out on me any day now!
Ok. That was harder than I thought it would be, but I still maintain that the US Weekly celebs have no excuse.
frequently
It’ll be seventeen years this December.
That isn’t really about me. I just thought it was a nice gift-giving tip.
I love my acupressure mat, my little sister gave it to me, I gave one to my older sister, and she gave one to her friend and running partner. We’re like a club.
Drop the fanfic!!!!!!!!